I suck.....finally an update-a long time coming

It's been well over a month since my last blog-just got lazy, didn't have much to report, and so time passed, sorry to all of my loyal readers. I haven't kept up really well with others' blogs either although I do seem irresisibly drawn to Lisa and Ken's blog-you guys always seem to have a lot of stories.
I spent the past month pretty stressed b/c of work-trying to just take on too much, being frustrated that my 2 year postdoc mark is around the corner and I have yet to publish a paper, rejected thus far in 3 out of 4 grant applications, frustrated that I am not done with my project yet. Thank god at least I haven't run Western blots in a while, that was pretty much my sole activity for a year and half but now, I have been cloning so mini-preps, gels, ligations, transformations. The funny thing is that I first learned this stuff when I was in college-20, and not much has changed-the kits are the same (ie Qiagen) and the other funny thing or sad thing to note is that when I was back in Albany in September, I found my very first lab notebook-from my volunteer time at Albany Med in high school. Open the notebook and I see-protocols for Western blots-that was the first damn thing I learned how to do, so I've come full circle I guess.
Anyways, I'm a little nervous, okay a lot, that I only have one first, first author paper to my name so I am trying to buckle down and get a 2nd paper published from my PhD but it's damn hard-the only time to do it is nights and weekends and I need to rest. I got some sort of the flu/cold two weeks ago which put me out of commission for a week-why, b/c I had run myself down. Lots of people are sick around here.
So, in an attempt to regain my "chi" or whatever you call it, a week ago I started exercising like mad, and also preparing meals for the week-so I can come home from work and not delve into a bag of potato chips. I really enjoyed cooking everything, and plan to do it again this weekend.
I have a happy hour to go to with the Aussie crowd as I call them. In the past month, I have hung out with this group of friends more (same group that hosted the party that I went to on my birthday), had valentines' day dinner with a couple of the gals, they're just fun, non-scientists (love that), and have very different jobs (travel industry, bankers, recruiting). They love to laugh and find my experiments hilarious.
I did go to a superbowl party at one of my postdoc friends houses-I was rooting for the bears, but only really stayed till half-time to watch how bad Prince was. Still, I have a higher opinion of football than I used to.
What else-in terms of organizing things, I started up a neighborhood watch-at least I attempted to-posting fliers, getting about 20 neighbors at my house to discuss 'hood concerns" incl getting a private patrol security service for our 'hood. The problem is that people are not too motivated to help and I don't want to do all the work myself. It was nice to meet people-some people have lived in this 'hood for 30 yrs! But we do get some robberies and cars broken into. And of course one famous night while my brother was visiting, there was a criminal fleeing from police on foot in our hood and the police had their big rifles out.
I am though getting tired of dealing with my landlord-he's just a cheap ass and with the rent already at 1300 and going up probably another 50 bucks over the summer, I may have to look around or think about roommates somewhere to save money.
I thought that I would have saved money in LA but with all of my expenses incl travel this fall, and now having to pay my taxes in April, it's been hard. I have several weddings to go to, a cousin's Bat M. in NYC, etc so it's going to be a pricey time.

I spoke to my dad-Albany got hit with 18 inches of snow so I am definitely happy not to be living on the ecoast. LA has been sunny and warm lately-it's almost bbq weather.
I had my Arizona friends Robin and Mark (from old Linden place) visit two weeks ago-we spent a lot of time in Santa Monica, Venice beach, more time in bars than I typically spend, ha, watched Arizona men's bball lose pathetically (they've lost so much I have given up hope), just relax.

I also did one notable Wellesley Club event-our retiring president came out to LA to visit, it was inspiring to hear her talk-she entered the college when I was a frosh so it's full circle, she's a poet, a thinker, just a lovely woman. The event was held in this huge Bev Hills house up on Mulholland Drive-like being in the movies. I chatted with some alums incl a woman who owns a horse farm, some women in the movie business, some financial people. I just haven't had much time to do other Wellesley things.

Jan. 20th was a weird day-would have been my friend Matt's 32nd b-day, so yeah, I still think about him, and do get sad, b/c now is past the time when he would have been back in the country and calling. I did see one of his friends visiting LA not too long ago, it was nice to talk about him. I put together a collage of pics which hang above my bed. It still seems so unreal. He still has a myspace page up, so I visit it sometimes, it's comforting and freaky at the same time.

I've been reading more over the last few weeks. I went to an author reading/interview the other week with Norman Mailer, one of the fathers of American non-fiction, he wrote about Lee Harvey Oswald, Marilyn Monroe, Gary Gilmore the notorious murderer, etc he just has a new book out. He is 84 and has been writing for 59 yrs-his first book out was at 25. He's funny and very articulate. He started the Village Voice in NYC. I sat next to a man who was a physician and now is a consultant/manages investments in biosciences, fascinating. I like the business aspect-really appeals to me. So I made an interesting contact.
I also read a book called Final Exam-by Pauline Chen, a woman surgeon, about her life and dealing with patients and many of them dying, so yeah-bit of a tearjerker but fascinating.

Anyways, to bed now.

Julie

New Year 2007, my 32nd, and other events...

Photos: At a belated holiday party on the night of my 32nd birthday-having fun with my Aussie friends (had 2 glasses of wine and was toasted!), my brother and I walking through an exterior NYC set at our tour of Paramount Pictures, my b-day present from my brother-it's actually an all spray-painted landscape made by this artist in Venice beach who has been doing it for 16 yrs (not best picture as it's glass and reflects stuff on my opposite wall), my brother and I celebrating New Year's 2007 at this English pub in Santa Monica, ,me with my feet in Richard Gere's footprints at Mann's Chinese theater in Hollywood, picture of Paramount movie studios entrance.
Allright, I have been slacking on the blogging. My last entry was almost a month ago. I don't even remember much that has happened, other than having vacation off from work. That was nice. My brother came to visit and we did a lot of eating, sleeping, and touring LA-we hit Venice beach, West Hollywood, took a really cool movie studio tour of Paramount (saw sets for Dr. Phil, a new movie with Julia Roberts and Tom Hanks called Charlie Wilson's War; toured the tv show Entertainment tonight and chatted with the producers, saw them putting together that night's segments), ate at the celebrity hotspot in West Hollywood called The Ivy (pricey meal, my brother was hoping to see celebrities but all I saw were skinny models wearing sunglasses),
had a chill New Year's until we met my friends at an English pub and danced like crazy!
I really liked the time off, it was hard to go back to work this week. But I have renewed energy-the end of 2006 was so crazy between all the travel, Matt's death, grants, shitty experiments, that I am glad it's a new year.
This weekend, I had a low key birthday day. Spent a lot of it on the phone catching up with ecoast friends, family, went to lunch near my place with two gal pals, then went to my Aussie friends party which was awesome. Wonderful people, homemade food (samosas, quiches, appetizers, cheese, etc), and since it was my b-day, drank a few glasses of wine, started to feel a bit queasy, and realized that getting older means you can't hold much liquor (for me, who couldn't hold it to begin with ever, it means that I can hold even less), so I started drinking water. Crashed at the hosts' place, helped them clean up, came home today and took a nap. I am however going to play tennis tonight-it's beautiful at this park nearby under the lights. So I will get some activity in.

Julie

Three Weeks of Catchup...

Okay, first some photos of view of the 405 freeway from the Getty Center, the gardens and the Getty Museum which sits up high over the 405 Freeway going north, right before Mulholland drive. You take a tram to the museum and there are these fabulous gardens and architectural granite/modernish buildings which houses paintings, sculpture, historic furniture (which makes me think that people a couple hundred yrs from now will be viewing our stuff in a museum). This was my first visit to a "new LA" site meaning that I haven't done the touristy thing in a few months, since the summer, with everything that has gone on-travel, work, sickness, mourning, etc. My brother is coming to visit over x-mas and New Year's so I will do a whole lot more which I am excited about-such as touring the movie studios, etc. Whether we do the Jewish thing and eat Chinese food and see a movie on x-mas, I don't know, but I am making a to do list of sites, a friend told me that the Beverly Hills Grove-a farmer's market, outdoor shopping center has fake snow around x-mas, that would be interesting to see. I don't miss the cold weather of the ecoast and living in LA, you do see the fall colors on the leaves so that works out.
I spent this weekend totally chilling out-actually not really leaving my house but watching 20 hrs of dvds of Grey's Anatomy-yup, I am hooked. And like most series, I have to watch it all in one sitting. But then, I have been overstressed and overtired the last few weeks so it makes sense.
I made a short trip to Tucson for Tgiving, nice to see some friends but it was too short of a trip and my mind was distracted-having gone without much sleep in the weeks preceding b/c of grants and deadlines, then driving back at 4am on Sunday so as not to spend all day stuck in traffic on the I-10. So I came back pretty tired and had to start work immediately on some grants. I finished everything by the end of that week but then had to prepare for a talk which I didn't put much energy into having depleted reserves. To make matters worse, there are some project problems so I haven't been that enthused lately. I want to make new resolutions for the New Year which include having more of a balance-doing some tutoring or teaching.
As for fun things, I have been sampling more international cuisine around town-Nepalese food, the best Thai food near Venice beach courtesy of a visiting friend from high school, seen a couple of plays, movies (The Fountain-good but bizarre; Casino Royale in Tucson-excellent!), there are some holiday parties coming up too...
My work stress has largely abated which is nice but I will be glad to leave the fall mentally and enter winter. I turn 32 in early January which is a bit freaky to think about. After all, when you can remember being 16 and wondering what you would be like at 25...

Julie

Stress...

So who says that the life of a scientist is easy?! It always seems like there are more things on my "to do" list. I've been working like a maniac on two grants, trying to get as much done on them before Tgiving although next week will be hell week and I found out that I have to give a talk too so I think things will be hectic thru Dec. 4th. I did just decide to go to Tucson for a few days over Tgiving, I really need a mental break from LA and work, besides the dirty air in LA has been getting to me. I feel like I get sick more here, my eyelids are incredibly dry, and I feel like I have more wrinkles around the eyes. It will be good to see friends too, I just hope I don't have to do too much work there, it depends on whether my boss will get edits back to me soon or not.

In my spare time, I have been watching the latest dvd set of the Sopranos, also a friend bought the first season of Beverly Hills 90210. It's hilarious-the haircuts, the drama, some places I recognize in LA like the Santa Monica Pier. Brandon, played by Jason Priestly, has a new girl every episode it seems. So, it's been fun to watch and just hang out with the girls, like having a slumber party, and eating lots of junk food-potato chips, dip, chocolate doughnuts, haven't had the best eating habits lately. Oh yeah, I did see a few movies-Babel, very good, and Running With Scissors (not as good as the book) but I have been slowing down my movie watching. Too many hours are spent lately staring at the computer.

On my 'to do list'-reschedule neighborhood watch mtg, find a cheaper car insurance, find out the progress of the gas company's investigation into my gas leak (or in other words, why I have paid 3x the amount my neighbors pay each month for gas), get money back from cingular wireless for my phone's problems with sending repeated multimedia msgs, make lots of phone calls I have put off, that's just a start. Good thing I am exercising-gets the stress right out!

Happy Tgiving everyone!
Julie

No real news...

So in my last post, I mentioned getting sick-well it took me a week and a half to recover fully. So, I was off some days from work, then recovered. I have been having conversations with friends-originally I thought that my increase in colds, etc since coming to LA was due to my bout with pneumonia but now I have learned that many other friends have gotten sick more often in LA than anywhere else. So yeah-chock it up to the pollution, the big city, lots of people.
So, after being sick, I felt alive again so that first weekend I celebrated by going to the movies. I saw two excellent films-The Prestige and Flags of Our Fathers. I still have Running With Scissors and Babel on my to see list. I also saw some friends, incl two dinners out-one with a guy that I have been dating (but nothing serious yet :) at this cafe on main street in Santa Monica-nice patio courtyard, a bit pricey (but then I was buying-see Lisa-I know how to reciprocrate :), but very relaxing, then a dinner for a friend's b-day at this place in Venice, a bit of a tapas bar. The food was ok but the company was terrific -it was fun to talk to people in other jobs, such as the movie business, one woman makes war documentaries so we were talking about flying in other countries-some countries are sketchier than others like Africa.

Fast-forward to this past week where I just tried to do experiments, didn't do much this weekend other than watch dvds (have become hooked on Prison Break!), see a few friends, enjoy the warm weather, get back into working out after a hiatus due to sickness. I am still trying to organize a neighborhood watch mtg and a book group for the winter, but like everything else, it's on my to-do list. I am trying not to think about writing my grant applications, incl a revised NRSA, have basically two weeks to do them if my boss and I meet our self-imposed deadline, ie before Tgiving. My next visitor will be my brother who is coming over the X-mas and New Year's holidays so I am excited about that. It will force me to actually get out and see more of LA because I really haven't been adventuring in the last few months, don't even make it down to the beach that often!

I finally read a good book-The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls, a memoir, reminded me a bit of Augusten Burrough's Running with Scissors, a dysfunctional family and she survived it.
Other than that, my energy lately is only for readings magazines.

Julie

No more travelling...

I have a bunch of random photos to share, stayed tuned for more from the mtg...incl the big photo of everyone from the Arizona dinner. Okay, photos in order of appearance-Rolls Royce speeding by my hotel in Atlanta on the first night, Piedmont park in Atlanta near my hotel, Lisa and Taryn all serious talk at the Arizona dinner, two photos of Centennial Olympic park next to the convention center, old AZ labmates Jen and Jason at sports bar Jock n. Jill which I frequented alot (being easily located next to the meeting), my old collaborator friend Heather, a postdoc, from my days at NIH in '97-98, also a recipient of a Women in Neuroscience travel award which we thought was a funny coincidence and bemoaned the numbers of women leaving science, me being licked to death by my friend Amber's dog Bucca while in NY (see photo nearby of Bucca driving-who said little dogs aren't cute!), the beautiful mountains of Salt Lake City, Utah, nice flowers of my neighbors (whereas mine are wilted and dead), Atlanta near my hotel (reminded me of Vegas), Lisa & Dan and our fast food lunch in the CNN food court...

So again it's been two weeks since my last blog entry and I just got back from yet another trip. On Sunday it was 1 month since we learned the news about Matt. Working my way backwards again, I have spent the last few days sick as a dog. I can suspiciously trace it to my last plane ride on Wed nite, coming back exhausted with no energy from the Neuro mtg in Atlanta. I spent most of the weekend in bed fighting off flu, and praying not to get pneumonia again. At least I have learned that I need to confine myself to my house at the first sign of sickness and do nothing but sleep, eat, and watch dvds. I went in for a few hours of work today but it kinda drained me and I don't like talking alot because of a recent sore throat. Let's see-so I got back from the memorial in Utah and had a week and a half to get my poster done for the mtg, finish some grant applications, etc so it was stress central. The meeting however was wonderful-we had a big Arizona get-together one night which has been suggested that I turn into an annual thing. I also caught up with other friends, old collaborators, etc and for the first time, actually managed to absorb alot of information about posters, etc maybe because of all of these years of scientific training or given my career goals, that I pay more attention to research in my field now. Talking with people and looking at posters got me excited about research and new ideas. I did have to take naps almost every day though, although I also worked out in our hotel fitness room to decrease stress. Our hotel was so bizarre-it was part of a mall with a food court but no one ever ate in it-except I guess the work lunch crowd.
I actually liked Atlanta-it's a friendly, pretty city, also managed to take the CNN studio tour because CNN headquarters is right across from the convention center, so saw the news anchor desks, etc I always had a thing for journalism and if research hadn't captured my passion, I would be a journalist.
I do want to make some changes-so much of my worklife in the last few years has focused on getting data and papers and I haven't had the time to visit classrooms and mentor potential scientists, I hope to be able to do that again.

On tap for the next month-2 grants to do (incl revised NRSA), a paper to write, experiments to wrap up, and yeah eventually need to write my 2nd paper from my grad work-no wonder I am stressed. But the reality is that it doesn't really matter that much-the last month has reminded me that we always need to keep things in perspective and the most important things in my life are my family, friends, and health.

Julie

Surreal...

It's been two weeks since I updated my blog and I sit here on a quiet Saturday night, enjoying the peace and quiet. It's my first quiet day in the past two weeks-what's that line that Hugh Grant utters to Julia Roberts in the movie "Notting Hill"-'it was nice to meet you, surreal but nice."
I have just had that line in my head-the past two weeks have felt like a dream-starting when I found out that Matt's helicopter went missing, then to hearing it was found two days later with no survivors, to flying to my hometown of Albany, NY the next day to be with friends and figure out where the memorial would be. The time in NY was intense-we spent many hours putting together emails and photos that friends of Matt sent to his best friend from around the world-Matt travelled to 15 countries over the years-doing alot of needed environmental work and it was so easy for him to make friends. Even my labmates at UCLA who met him for a few hours last year, felt his impression.
Anyways, while in Albany, I saw a bunch of old high school friends, had the chance to chat a lot, we worked on a dvd of photos with music of Matt's life-from his days in elementary school and up. Also spoke to a reporter and they ran a nice story in the local paper, here's the link-
http://www.timesunion.com/AspStories/story.asp?storyID=520143&category=REGIONOTHER&BCCode=LOCAL
Then we heard from his folks about the memorial service in Utah so we flew there last weekend. It was so emotional to see his family but also good to exchange stories. The service was nice-people shared their memories, there were trinkets of his collected while abroad on various tables, photo albums, big photos, etc, met alot of his friends that I hadn't met before.
I spoke too-although I was self-conscious b/c I ran out of LA without packing any nice clothes and so I was in sneakers and jeans in front of a well-dressed audience. I had to go up to the podium twice too to read a msg from one of his close friends.

It was pretty intense-I came back wanting to not have to be around people all of the time, the slightest things set me off-my tolerance is low, again a reminder of a loss I experienced years ago brought back to me, when my mother died, feeling the same complex emotions and shock. I went back to work on Tuesday and have been swamped all week-working long hours, but it's been good to get back into the routine. This coming week I leave for the Neuroscience mtg in Atlanta for almost a week so I am trying to store up rest before then.

Meanwhile, I have a major gas leak outside my house-in the yard line to my house-smelled gas last night, called the gas comp, and landlord, sure enough a leak supposedly fixed while I was in NY wasn't fixed, so my gas is off while the landlord gets the city permits to rip up the sidewalks and replace the pipes-fun, fun. At least the gas is not inside my house.

I've done needed things for myself this week-bought some books, saw that movie The Departed-Jack Nicholson and DiCaprio and Damon were all excellent and I have never been a fan of Dicaprio. Probably one of the best movies I have seen in a while.

Julie