Butting Heads...

So, the good news for this week is that I submitted my first paper from my dissertation work online to the Journal of Comparative Physiology A. After 3 months of working on it weekday nights and weekends, it is done. So, I have a little closure until I get the reviews back-yes, I am doing a little nail-biting, the fear of rejection. I feel so grateful for Rick's patience with me on this and all of his careful editing. Gosh, I miss him. Especially lately.

What else-well, I went to a postdoc bbq on Tuesday night-got to walk though north campus which I haven't seen-it's beautiful. The bbq was held in this Sunset Canyon recreation area and I have to be honest, the food was lousy and people were kinda cliquish. That is-a lot of postdocs came with their lab, talked to people in their lab, or were just snotty. I did meet a few nice plant sciences people who told me that their lab rm. number is 420-I got it of course and thought that was hilarious. One of the plant guys had a huge ass Elvis hairdo-I had to restrain myself from touching it. So, I chatted a bit but overall, it was a dull event. At least I tried.

Hmmm-yeah-and on Sunday I am throwing my first house party-people from the lab and my neighbors will come all afternoon-should be fun. I plan on drinking some wine so I am not neurotic as I tend to get neurotic before parties-all worried about there being enough food, etc.

So, I am writing my blog on a Friday night rather than my usual Sunday night because I need to vent in a big way. I am hoping that by venting, I can also help those of my friends who are in science, so you get a little glimpse into those "bad days" as a postdoc. Maybe it will assure those of you that I am normal-in the sense that I do have bad days as a postdoc-it's not all roses.


First off, I feel grateful for the stock of patience that I developed from my grad work-when I had to spent 14 hour days looking for a hormone response on tissue or trying to figure out if something worked. However, this stock is rapidly depleting. I have spent the past two weeks visiting 5 different labs, borrowing different equipment, talking to 3 different people in the labs, just trying to figure out how to do protein assays. It has involved a lot of email too so I now have a full binder of correspondence, protocols, etc.

My other frustration has stemmed from some intense interactions this week with my current PI. We have butted heads. It's due to a combination of things. She is coming up for tenure soon and also worried about us getting scooped on a project. Results need to be submitted before November. I think that on my end, I am starting to grow up in the sense that I am standing up for myself for the first time-I am saying, this is what I want and not being submissive. So, I am proud of myself in a way. I think that in time, I will also gauge her moods so maybe I won't be the recipient of her stress.

So, the jist is that she wants me working in the lab nonstop and not going to the Neuroscience mtg and I, on the other hand, want to go to the Neuroscience mtg because I missed it last year-which was fine and appropriate b/c I was working on my PhD, but that this year, it's important for my career to network in my new field, know what research is out there, connect with old mentors, etc. We have different philsophies on this and although she is okay with me going if I make-up the time, we still don't agree. Plus, I didn't appreciate being reminded that my pneumonia bout set the lab back a few weeks. But those of you interested in the nitty-gritty details, can email me directly. Anyways, it felt good to have an honest and direct conversation. I am sensitive to the needs of the lab but I must balance them with my own needs. I am just glad that for the first time I stood up for what I wanted. We just had another head butting today-I think b/c she was stressed and in a pushy mood. I ended up having to suddenly do a 4 hour experiment unexpectly which ended at 8pm tonight and was encouraged to spend all night and all Saturday on it, until she realized that I wouldn't be able to carry it out without help from another lab's PI. Of course, I was tired and just feeling kinda queasy all day-probably because I had worked a long day yesterday then gone home and worked 3-4 hours to get my Arizona manuscript ready for submission this morning. So, of course, I did the experiment but my stress caused me to mess it up a bit. We'll see what next week holds. It's definitely been a learning experience and I guess I am learning to adapt to my new PI's moods.

Julie

What More Can One Ask For?

I decided that as part of this blog business, I am going to start to describe my feelings in conjunction with various activities. I am glad that I started a blog because it's cathartic and also a good way for friends all-over to keep in touch.

Okay, it's Sunday morning and I am barely awake and soon I will drive my latest visiting friend, Robin, to the airport for her flight back to Tucson. Then, sadly, it's back to reality-preparing for a busy work week, working again on Arizona paper revisions, trying to get my car window fixed and everything else that needs to be fixed, the thoughts almost depress me. Robin and I did so many activities over the past few days that my head is spinning around. And I had better write it all down now or I will forget.

I was so psyched to leave work early on Thursday-it felt like a Friday and better yet, I knew I wouldn't have to go back until Monday. I had found out on Thursday that I had been doing my protein assays completely wrong after consulting with this professor that morning. I don't consider it a week lost though. Because I have been learning. So, either I could have gotten depressed or laughed it off-so I laughed it off. Anyways, Friday was going to be my first day off since I started work (with the exception of one day that I was sick). I knew that having a day off and a fun weekend would be just what I needed.

The funny thing about the arrival terminal at LAX is that passengers come down to baggage claim via an escalator and the nature of the escalator is that you can't see people-just their legs as they come down it. So, I have gotten good at recognizing friend's legs-ha. In this case, I spied Robin's flip flops and knew she had arrived. One of my favorite moments when I have friends coming to visit is that moment when you see them for the first time-sometimes I wish that I could capture that moment on tape-freeze it-and then the initial hug, the -"holy crap it's good to see you hug."

Anyways, following the airport pick-up, we spent Thursday night on my patio grilling-we made this amazing salmon with asian sauce-with ginger, soy, garlic, olive oil, red wine vinegar sauce, and then grilled corn and portobello mushrooms and zuccini with an olive oil, basil, and rosemary dressing. Of course we drank some white wine. The weather was beautiful-a little chilly, but a nice ocean breeze. I love my backyard and my flowers currently look very fetching (and based upon Robin's expert advice, many of them got re-potted this weekend).

I don't remember what time we went to bed that night but neither of us slept well-for me, it was because I went to bed buzzed and for Robin, she heard the lovely loud traffic outside my window, on Ocean Park Blvd. I am sorry to all of my overnight visitors, who while enjoying the comforts of my futon, have to deal with the noisy traffic.

Hmm, so Friday morning we got up, walked to Zabie's for breakfast-the nice little French cafe near me-had some eggs, toast, pancakes (okay-so my blogs tend to ruminate on food), and I swear the owner has started to recognize me by now. We then walked down to Ocean Park Beach, about a 3 mile walk. We must have walked like 5-6 miles that day. On our walk, we looked at a lot of flowers-including birds of paradise which kinda freaked me out. I forget that when I am with certain friends, I tend to notice some things more-for example, little details like what's in people's yards. There were so many pretty gardens on our walk. The beach of course was beautiful and we also walked to the Promenade-went in a lot of shops, including that fabulous soap store-Lush-, I bought some tank tops, went into huge Urban Outfitters, we even went into a store called Hear Music which lets you make your own CD. We caught the bus home and stopped off at a local favorite for take-out sandwiches-The Counter. I love eating sloppy sandwiches with a good friend. Then it was time to get ready for Ben Folds concert.

It took us about an hour to drive there on Fri night-it's in rush hour traffic, and in Hollywood so...We stayed on Wilshire Blvd all the way so she got to see Rodeo Drive, etc, Beverly Hills, we never made it to UCLA though (next time-and for a basketball game!). Robin swore that she saw Brad Pitt's vehicle-I forget it's name-it's silver, looks like a jeep with tinted windows.
We get to the Wiltern Lantern-it's a beautiful old theater-long curtains, antique looking ceilings-we are literally in the very last row on the top, but there is a good view of the stage. It's not so far away that the performers look like ants. I even entered us in a concert to win backstage passes but no luck. By the way, this was only my second concert ever-the first was Billy Joel when I was 14. Ben Lee opened-he is an Australian guitarist with a nice smile. Then, Rufus Wainwright came on-I hadn't really heard him before except for that duet he does with Ben Folds called Careless Whisper. Oh my god, him and Ben Folds have the two most beautiful male voices that I have ever heard. Rufus alternated between a guitar and piano, he had a few duets with his sister who has a clear beautiful voice, he just sounded amazing. Ben of course was the icing on the cake-he played some oldies and a funny song making fun of Dr. Dre's rap, also got the crowd going with that song in which in directs the crowd to sing-the ooooh, ahhh, song, there was so much energy from both of them-it was palpable, I could feel it. Robin had tears in her eyes and I have to be honest, I was close to it too. I have never felt that way about music before-you feel like you are part of the rhythm. One of the best moments was when they sang ""Careless Whisper together. So, I don't know if anyone else I saw could top that. I thought it would take us a long ass time to get home but it didn't -30 min, we were too tired to cruise by Sunset Blvd and see the clubs. The funny thing was that we got home and Ben Folds happened to be on The Tonight Show-had to tape that.

Let's see -so Saturday, another busy ass day, we woke up-went and worked out-45 min of cardio, some weights, I forgot how more motivated I get when I have a workout partner. Stopped off at the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf on the way home, ran into my neighbors including my neighbor Mark who is a sweetie, chatted, got cleaned, then hit Venice Beach. There is something so pristine about the ocean-so mind-clearing. Venice of course is fun-very active, lots of sidewalk amusements, etc, friendly people, surfers, we then hit the Santa Monica Promenade for more shopping-ate a mid-afternoon meal in the Beanery where Taryn and I ate breakfast-It's fun inside-lots of old ads, paraphenelia. It's been open for 80 years!
I had the biggest ass hot dog that I have ever seen-a foot long-didn't finish it though.
We were so pooped that we got home and just had a quiet evening-watched tv, grilled some chicken (garlic, lemon, salt, pepper sauce) and corn so we ate dinner at like 9pm (Mark, I am sure you are in disbelief if you are reading this). Had some wine.

So that's it really, a lot packed in but it felt very spontaneous and fun. When Susy was here, we did a shitload, and even took naps, we were so tired, but no naps this time and even more stuff.
It's just always so hard to say goodbye to friends though-that's the hard part...because you know that living in another place, you won't see them as often so it makes the time together even more special. It's really nice to be with a close friend too-you end up laughing a lot, smiling a lot, finishing each other's sentences and thoughts, and wishing that they lived next door.

Allright, well I started this blog earlier, now I am finishing it later-I know it's going to be a lazy day!

Julie

My brother's new dog

My brother is now the owner of a Shar-pei which he graciously agreed to take care of because the poor dog was miserable living out in Ohio so its owners, friends of my brother. asked him if he would adopt Liu. Yup, it's now Liu Miller. See the photos. I am a proud aunt.

Julie

A lot Going On....

Allrighty, well I am changing my routine and writing my weekly blog tonight, instead of tomorrow-maybe b/c I have a lot to say or maybe b/c I will be too tired tomorrow. I also want to comment on Lisa's 10 year high school reunion and mine from a few years ago (gulp). Well, this week wasn't as successful in the lab as I would have hoped. I have been trying to extract protein from the brain to run on Western blots and because no one has done it in our lab, I am consulting a zillion people, also trying to supervise an undergrad, and ordering stuff and a million other things. So, my stress level was up but down by the end of the week. I was so tired from working long hours that I only worked out once this week so I did go tonight, but not my usuall 3x. When I don't do it, I miss it but lately I feel like my workout routine has become boring. I need to mix it up.

Hmmm, I digress. So, last night, I tried a new Cafe, on Montana Avenue in Santa Monica/Brentwood with some friends. I had previously tried another cafe, Cafe Montana, nearby and it was fabulous, good desserts. This 17th st cafe was good-I had some lovely griled chicken with baby potatoes and mango chutney sauce. The service was good-the decor kinda elegant woodsy. Hmm, then today was errand day-I woke up early, got my oil and filter changed on my car at this Midas nearby, went to my bank, did laundry, went to the library and got a few books (I've been reading a lot of chick lit lately like books by Jodi Picoult and Elizabeth Berg; usually I prefer male authors like Richard Russo, John Irving, etc). I also cleaned my house which needed it and in preparation for my next visitor this coming week (Robin from Tucson) and even got my haircut. When I first arrived in LA, I desperately needed a haircut but didn't know who to go to so I went to supercuts and it sucked-15 min and barely chopped. Last weekend on my weekly walk home from the beach, I saw a salon advertising 20 dollars for new customers and it looked funky and casual. So, I went there today-had my hair cut by a woman named Kristina who was fun and knowledgeable and my hair got chopped-about 2 inches and it feels lighter and looks lighter. So, after 3 months, I definitely needed my mane chopped. And I will go back there now-it was very casual -kids playing, people chatting, not snobby at all. It will cost me 40 bucks for a regular haircut so more $ then Tucson but that's okay.

Hmm, then I went and exercised-the gym was super empty so that was nice and I worked hard-treadmill, bike, and weights. Finally, I am home now, gonna read in a bit and go to bed early. Tomorrow should be a nice lazy day as I am awaiting the latest edits still on my Arizona paper.

I am so looking forward to having another good friend visit me (Dan and Esa were my last visitors-keep coming!) and I do miss my Tucson community, including my Linden neighbors. Robin and I have concert tickets to see Ben Folds and Rufus Wainwright in concert in Hollywood. Taryn-I know you're jealous! My second concert ever (the first was Billy Joel in 9th grade) and as of a few years ago, I would have no clue who these musicians were but Robin has educated me in music, just like my college roommate Natalie (thanks Noodles) taught me about music -back then in the mid-90s, it was Nirvana, Nine Inch Nails, Simon and Garfunkel, in the last few years I have been learning about Ben Folds, Outkast, Nelly Furtado, Frou Frou, Iron and Wine, Postal Service, Jack Johnson (thx Robin!)...the list goes on. . I am also looking forward to grilling and wine drinking-which I tend not to do alone.

Oh yeah-so high school reunions. Mine was over 2 years ago. Lisa-I think your one was somewhat similar to mine-in that the popular kids stuck to their old cliques, the quiet ones were more extroverted, although one of the guys at mine told me that this one guy didn't want to come b/c people made fun of him in high school. Man, people could be so mean in high school. I think for me-I noticed that a lot of people's exteriors had changed-someone said that my face had matured but I wasn't sure what they meant by that. Personalities were pretty much the same. And conversation wasn't that deep. Yeah-some people asked me too what I did and I was like -grad student-but like you Lisa, I just didn't want to go into details about the job, I was more interested in how people had grown or not grown. You spent a long ass time at yours, mine was like 2 hours and the people I came with-one of my best friends, Amber, and a girl we were friends with in high school, after leaving the reunion, we ended up at Friendly's -you know-the ice cream parlour popular in NY upstate, and the girl with Amber and me at Friendly's, Seiko, was bitchy and complaining about people being unfriendly to her. In my mind, if you act cold and snobby to people, that's how they will respond. Seiko hadn't changed since high school-she still bitched and was unhappy about the same stuff-she and I never got along great in high school-she was mean to me and competitive. And you know me, I don't like to confront people and I tend to take it. She hasn't really changed in years since high school or even seemed to have matured. Okay, well I digress-I guess people hadn't changed that much-maybe it will be more interesting to see how people act in 20 years. It was funny to see that the popular-quote-pretty girls and boys in high school who always won homecoming stuff had gotten really ugly with time. I apologize in advance for stereotyping too and just in case I offend any of my current friends who were in the popular clique. Anyways, it does put things in perspective and it makes you realize that it's what is inside of you that matters in the long term and what you do with it, then your appearance.
Thanks for the description Lisa! Fascinating!

Julie

Sometimes they just need a little encouragement...

I am referring to the flowers in my backyard. They are doing well now-looking really happy. I am thinking about starting to press and dry flowers for fun-a friend sent me a card the other week with a pressed flower and it looked pretty. And I am starting to have a real yard. Oh, I met my new neighbor earlier this week. She and her boyfriend live next door to me and have a black lab named Tatum-I was sitting on my patio reading and felt someone's eyes on me-it was the dog. Also, I am sitting near the beach yesterday and I feel someone touching my ass-I turn around startled and it's just a dog's nose, hahhahah!

It's Sunday night and I am wiped out. I spent the week crazy busy in the lab- between meetings, bird duty, helping to transport a friend on crutches post-surgery, and then on Wednesday morning, I started to feel sick. I felt woozy at work and warm and so I went home early. I kept on taking my temperature and assessing my symptoms because I felt like I had these same symptoms as a prelude to my pneumonia. I haven't turned into a hypochondriac but I don't want to get that sick again...Anyways, rather than push myself to go to work Thursday and make everyone happy, I spent the day at home. Just lying around, trying to kick it. I had a bit of a sore throat, tiredness, and headache. I did watch Alexander on DVD-it was pretty bad. Being sick always puts me in a dreary mood.

On Friday, I went into work but felt so-so. I did enjoy a morning learning and memory journal club because the topic was the stomatogastric ganglion network. I had read a lot about it in the course of my dissertation so I felt prepared to ask questions. I ask way more questions in seminars as a postdoc then I ever did as a grad student-b/c I think I was intimidated then or insecure. Anyways, I took it easy on Saturday-and felt 100% healthy, so I may have had really bad hayfever. I also went to see Batman Begins down on the Santa Monica Promenade, discovered a few more stores including this store "Lush" which is popular in London/Europe but just beginning to catch on here. It markets natural soaps and skin cremes. Hmm, I also checked out the Farmer's Market, walked near the beach, and got some library books on my way home. I read Michael Crichton's new book, a guilty pleasure, State of Fear, a twist of science and historical fiction based upon the global warming issue. Proceeded to grill some corn, veggies burgers, and marinated portobello mushrooms and onion in a sesame sauce (soy sauce, sesame oil, garlic, red wine vinegar, sugar, etc).

Woke up this morning, exercised, grocery shopped, bought a few bad magazines, then proceeded to spend the next 7 hours or so working on my lab presentation for tomorrow (an article on cDNA microarrays) and edits on my Arizona paper. I finished it all but I am tired. Still, I think that my tiredness stems from work stress. I am in a much more competitive field now and we run the risk of being scooped so we need to get some results out. So, I just have to be careful that my stress doesn't lead to sickness. Meanwhile, I got a newsletter from the LA Wellesley Club-I had been thinking about joining them so it was on my mind. They have a huge number of activities going on-so I am going to do some of them, like a monthly brunch, do some networking (Taryn, if you're reading this, I know you are laughing, ha!). There is even a southern california Ivy league association which hosts events, including a singles night next week at some posh bar. I am going to go-if only to meet people and hopefully they won't be Harvard snobs. Hah.

Oh yeah, so it looks like the scientific writing process never ends-I just was reminded that I need to start thinking about applying for a NRSA through NIH-a postdoctoral fellowship grant. I am on a training grant that specifies that I must write my own grant before the year is up. The deadline is December 5th so I anticipate that I must start writing around October. So, between papers and that, I will be in perpetual writing mode.

Julie